New Excerpt From Upcoming Book

Chapter entitled: "Should"

Robert E. Howard's final words left in his typewriter before he took his own life in 1936. He was 30 years old

“I should have.” We always think of the word “should” as something that needed to be done, but that for some reason, didn’t end up happening. “I should’ve gone to the store tonight.” Or, “I should’ve said I’m sorry.” It’s a strong word, for sure. It’s a word that most of the time is somehow attached to guilt. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Have you seen the movie, “Castaway” with Tom Hanks. After he is rescued from being shipwrecked on an uninhabited island for about an hour and thirty five or forty minutes, (movie time that is) he is on his way home on an airplane, and is with a friend. Tom Hanks’ character realizes that his friend has not only buried him in a memorial service, but also had to bury his own wife soon thereafter. In that moment Tom Hanks says to his friend,
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been there for you.”

Should have.

Well Tom, you were abandoned on an island just south of nowhere, I think he’s going to understand your absence at his wife’s funeral. And this rationale makes sense, doesn’t it? But it only makes sense because we only think of the word “should” in terms of our lack of doing something, our lack of dedication to some task that went undone and made things shoddy or imperfect in one way or another. But what if “should” was not about us at all? What if “should” was situational in that, whatever the imperfect situation was lacking, it should not have been that way? But then take the blame away. Stop acting as if you or someone else made this situation bad by not participating or accomplishing something needed to pull it off. The situation is flawed, and the only thing that can fix it is nothing. But “should” exposes it; let’s us know it’s potential. “Should” shows us the beauty of what was intended to be there, and would have been there, apart from a fallen world.

In the book of Psalms the word “should” is used… (This is where you think I’m going to say TEN THOUSAND TIMES!!!) Actually, it’s only used five times. But in looking over those five times I noticed something. “I will instruct you in the way you should go… …why should I fear when evil days come… …that he should live on forever and not see decay… …why should the nations say ‘Where is their God?’” There is something powerful implied in everyone of these, and throughout the bible. It’s the “on earth as it is in heaven” implication. The “Woopsie, I bit the apple and so did Adam, and now things are not the way they should have been,” undertone. Had there been no evil, there should be no fear. Had there been no fall in the garden, there should be no death. Had there been no original sin, there should have been no need to “instruct you in the way you should go.” You would have just stayed in the garden. That’s the way it should have been.

Like I said, “should” is a powerful thing. If you think about it, it sent Jesus to the cross. Yep, God on a cross; and it should have never happened. But…it did. And this is where things change for us. There is no way we should be walking around, throughout our lives, blaming ourselves for all the things we have or have not done. This kind of should was NOT the intention for us. We were to live peacefully, guilt free. That’s right. And the only time we were to be blamed for all of the sadness, emptiness, darkness and sin in this world, the only time we should have been blamed, God stepped in and took our blame; our should.

Maybe it sounds like a copout to you. And maybe you’re right. Go ask your friends. They should tell you the truth. (Hilarious!) But the whole reason I make this point is not so we can go on doing (or not doing) the things that are sinful, that have left this world and the lives of those in it, fragmented. Not at all. The reason I bring this up is because of how restrictive the should-ing gets. So restrictive that the transformation of things we are supposed to be making heavenly, out of things that are earthly, remain firmly rooted in planet earth. Lemons do not turn into lemonade, and the turd never gets polished. Therefore, our “should” is not at all redemptive, nor is the guilt or blame which almost always seems to accompany it.

Tom Hanks was right; he should have been there for his friend. He couldn’t possibly have been, but he still should have been. He should have been able to find a way to get to his friend and help him. He should have been able to be there as this guy’s wife drew her last breath. Maybe he should have been able to bring her back to life. Or maybe this woman never should have died in the first place. But she did. Post Eden, every one dies, even though it never should have been this way. But try as I might, I will never be able to do anything about that. I might feel like I should be able to, but I can’t. And the weight of that kind of responsibility should have never fallen into my lap, should it have?

And if after reading this, you feel guilty for all the should-ing; well…you shouldn’t.