GOOD MORNING! I have a question for you to ponder as you sip your morning coffee. Who do you think would win at the olympics?

Beth...

or Heather...

or me???

You'd be an IDIOT...

if you even thought it was possible

for a freak show...


I said a Freak Show...


A FREAK SHOW...

like Beth could win!

That will happen when pigs fly!

Cause you know Katie would probably

pull it out in the long program anyway.

So there you go...Mystery Solved!!!

THE END

Have a Great Day!!!

Advice Stinks

I heard a guy give a lot of answers to a lot of difficult questions the other day. He seemed to really believe what he was saying. My friend, that was listening to him, believed this guy knew exactly what he was talking about. But I didn’t. I almost never think people who seem to know what they are talking about, actually DO know what they are talking about; especially when they are doling out answers like hot dogs at a baseball game.

Probably he believed he was right because people are always telling him, “You know what? You’re right on!” Problem is, I’ve tried most of what he said was “the problem” and it worked about as good hair accessories on Bruce Willis. And I seriously don’t mean to be a pig, or to harass this guy’s logic, but stuff like he was talking about just doesn’t work. Most of what he told my friend was stuff that would only referee symptoms. You know, ibuprofen for backaches kind of treatment; where you don’t feel the pain for a while, but wake up in the morning and it feels like there’s a blunt ice pick wedged between your vertebrae.

When I was little my brother told me that if I would smell his finger I’d be surprised at what it smelled like. Well, this was only part true, because he made it sound like I’d take a whiff and smell something good-surprising; or even weird-surprising. But it wasn’t good-surprising or weird-surprising. It was disgusting-surprising. It was dog crap-surprising.

See, that’s what I’m getting at. Good surprising doesn’t get in your nose and hang around for a while, but dog crap-surprising does. And that’s what Advice Boy’s advice is like; dog crap-surprising. Cause at first you think, “Hmmm…I’ll have to give that a try; it should work great!” But in the end, all the advice you’ve “given a try” is as useless as a dark brown pile in your backyard, that stinks...real bad. But I digress.

Okay, so Advice Boy did seem to have himself pretty well together; nice clothes, pretty wife, sport’s car, gold pen. And I think a lot of people probably want to be like him; not that I would. (I mean on occasion it would be cool to sit with businessy people, wave my gold pen around and have them think I was some sort of Tycoon.) So here’s the bigger problem for me: Advice Boy thought he had life and marriage all figured out. But the thing is, even if his advice had worked for him, that didn’t mean it would work for my friend. Maybe things were just easier for Advice Boy. Like maybe he was married to someone who was easier to be married to. Or maybe because he was better looking, (which he was) people were just naturally nicer to him. (This really happens; I saw a thing about it on Dateline where little kids kept picking pretty kindergarten teachers over ones that looked like Amy Winehouse). Either way, I guess it doesn’t really matter because I thought his advice was just preachy and shallow. But the real bummer is, I think my friend is going to try it out, but probably to no avail. I’ve tried some of the stuff he was talking about and could tell it wasn’t working when Heather started saying things like, “Whatever Matt” or “That is just a pile bull crap!” And when that would happen I’d feel stupid, so I would usually just start a big fight with her instead of trying to find a more sensible solution to the problem.

One thing I do know about marriage is this: I’m usually only part right; and usually not the part I think I’m right about. I’m usually right about the part that I don’t want to cram down Heather’s throat. Being right isn’t the point though. I do know that. Being in love is the point…and forgiving, and doing my best to understand her. So I guess what I’m trying to say here is, easy solutions to tough problems are a big fat waste of time. I’m pretty sure I heard Steve say that in one of his messages a while ago, and I agree.

So maybe next time I hear Advice Boy advising, I’ll just say, "Why don't you stop blabbing on and on like you've got it all figured out Advice Boy!"

But he’d probably just look at me and say, “Wanna smell my finger?”

DON'T FORGET...

To get in shape for the summer!

Bringing sexy back!
And everyone's talkin' 'bout it.

Oh, and Mimi is 2!

She's just not a baby anymore...

Happy Birthday Mimi!!!

Food Issues!

I told you I had them. I went to Sam's today on an errand with a friend. He wanted to pick up a beach umbrella for his trip. I left Sam's with this...

So who does that? Buys a big freakin' chocolate cake in the middle of the day? And better yet, what MAN does that? But I carried it up to the checkout anyway.

My friend said, "So is that for your anniversary?"

I said, "Huh?"

Doesn't it look good though? Yummy. Think I'll eat it while I watch David Archuletta get his new crown.

Happy Anniversary Baby! Got You On My Mind!

14 years! Amazing.

I'm proud of those 14 years. It is not what I'm accustomed to (staying that is). We have worked HARD and I'm glad we have made it this far. Thank you God, for family, courage, trust, dedication, and love.

Shining Things

In 1997 I went on a mission trip to Honduras. We made our way from the airport in Tegucigalpa, which is literally one runway surrounded by mountains; big ones, to the middle of the jungle in Conchias. Aside from the lack of running water, paved roads, roofed homes, bathrooms, and chicken infested beds (they sleep with them to stay warm), there was something about these people; they were happy.

There were alot of toothless people in Conchias. One of the guys who was guiding us through this mission told us that Hondurans, especially the men, while they're working, love to chew on coffee beans, and that some of them do this all day long.

I remember coming home and the theme of our mission trip being this: "Man, we are sooo blessed here in America." But I didn't feel that way. I mean, yes, I realize that being able to have my daughter pop an ibuprofin to cure her headache, or an antibiotic to cure her illness is a blessing these people do not have. I have shoes and they don't. I have teeth...alot of them don't. We do HAVE here in America; but blessed? - in some ways, I guess.

So what is a blessing? Well if it's our kids then how come we don't enjoy them? If it's our relationships, then how come we don't take time out for them? If it's our church (yes, I hear it all the time "Northview is such a blessing to my family") then how come we don't go? You know what was a blessing to the Hondurans? Family, coffee, laughter, some game with a stick and a chicken. Simple things. They had nothing so complicated as a DVD player of which to call a blessing.

So I've been off all weekend (Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon) and it's been good. Here are the blessings I've had; redecorating my daugther's bedroom (I'm sure you'll catch pics on Heather's blog in the next week or so), my dog (she got the mangiest haircut, or furcut, but we still love her even though she's been transformed into Taco Bell dog), coffee on our front porch, with my wife, my dog, Heather's newspaper, all while watching Evalee water the flowers, knowing that she'd be recieving two Pokemon cards for it. Hmmm...sleeping in. Love it. Having a friend tell me that worship this past weekend, in my absence, was incredible. What else? Friday night with 3 sets of neighbors, all their kids, and a bonfire even though we never left the kitchen. Not showering for two days. Watching SNL until I fell asleep. Having great talks with Heather. Going for a late night walk alone, looking up at the moon and remembering a time in college where I felt the presence of God so close to me. There was a moment on my walk where the moon was shining so bright, and I pretended it was the reflection of God's pupil, like a camera flashes against the lens of our eye. I kept looking up and imagined where His other eye would be laid out in the sky, and then His nose and mouth, and then the rest of His face. Before long, His head alone had taken over all the sky I could see. And I remembered that as big as He is, He enjoys simple things; like me for instance. I walked the rest of the way home and knew that He was watching me, and that He was pleased.

I am blessed, but not because of my residence in the US of A. I'm blessed because I was able to recognize and enjoy the things God has placed in my life; the shining things. God, Heather, my girls, friends, neighbors, Mimi, funny blogs, sad ones, entrepreneurial ones, annuals, perennials, renovations, and coffee. Everything else is just black and white, but these three things remain, God, people, and coffee. And the greatest of these is.... God. ;)

Be blessed by the shining things.

I'm Off This Weekend!

So here's me all weekend....

Whatever!

Okay, little story...

Heather likes to tell people that I take forever to get ready, basically inferring that I'm a woman in the bathroom. Not true; never has been. I am usually about 20 minutes from start to finish including the shower, shoes, keys and coffee. I can do it in about 7 if I need to. But of course people believe her beacuse I seem the type, and I accept that. I think it's easy for people to believe her, because I look like this. I'm not sure why she does it though, but my therapist says it has something to do with her having BFLD.

Okay, so another thing she does is, when I even slightly mention our dog to people, (cause our dog is awesome and we are insanely in love with her) Heather rolls her eyes and says something like, "He thinks our dog is the best thing ever. It's kind of ridiculous." She says it like I'm one of those old ladies with 19 cats who insists that her house is kid friendly and free of feline AIDS.

So Heather has been doing this for a while and it's been bugging me cause I'm thinking, "How come you turn it off in front of people, but at home you talk to her like she's a newborn? You shouldn't be ashamed of your sappy, sappy, sugary sweet, schmalzy gushy feelings of dog love! Just admit it: step one."

So I've discovered that Mimi no longer wants to drink from her dog bowl, which I find a little strange. What could be the reason for this mystery in the Bays' home? And who's to blame for it? Hmmmmm....interesting. Could it be that Mimi prefers drinking out of a glass? Yep, that's right. Heather fills up a glass of water and let's Mimi drink from it? (I know, it's totally cute.) Last night I caught her.

Now you tell me? Who's ridiculously in love with A DOG???

Whatever!!!
(BFLD = Big Fat Liar's Disease)

Seeya-esha! Get it? She Got Ousted

The night was a good one. I love how they honored all their hard work. In the end, I wish Syesha could have remained, but that's life. The Finale is going to be a good one.

So that's it for our little soul singer. Bye Syesha - you'll have a great career! (I hate when people do what I just did, and no I wasn't kidding. I was seriously pretending to be talking to her, like she could hear me. How very grandmotherly of me.

Idol Recap: Sheer Frustration

Okay, it's time to lay it on the line!

Round One
David Archuletta "And So it Goes"
I thought this was a real moment for him. His voice is just gorgeous. He is a great singer. Loved that Paula picked this song, even though she's retarded.

Syesha "If I Ain't Got You"
Excellent. Great Control. I wish she wouldn't have been wearing a ball gown for a song like that, but still great job.

David Cook "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"
I thought it was good; not great, but good. I was glad to hear that he was doing this song, but felt a little let down by the performance.

Round Two
David Archuletta “Boo”
It was good, but just “fine” good, not “good” good. He said “Boo” and I’m against using words like this in songs. It just strange and wrong. He did get mixed up in his lyrics at one point, which I guess I’ll cut him a break since they had to learn three songs this week – and he is 17 – but he has done this the last few times, so he’s going to need to get this sorted out. It was still good, and he did show off some pretty cool vocal gymnastics here and there. Sometimes his hair is a little…Hair Club for Men though. He needs to work on that.

Syesha "Fever"
I thought this was excellent. I thought it totally showed who she was as an artist (contrary to what Paula said ((drugs))). And her control...was really impressive. Okay, so yes, "more contemporary" is definitely an arguable complaint, but still...it was too good to have all that nasty commentary. Someone wants a Double-David finale. Whatever!

David Cook "Dare You to Move"
I thought it was bad. It went nowhere; bad song choice. His pitch has been a real problem the last couple weeks. This, in my opinion was not good, musical and nowhere close to the original, which I love. Bummer for Dave. And you can't just stand there. Gimme some jumps or splits or something.

Round Three
David Archuletta "Longer"
"Gooey" was a perfect description; but his vocals.... I love them. The song was too old and...I dunno...just old and...TV romantic love song album for sale-ish. Ya know? Doesn't matter though, finals for sure for little Davey Poo.

Syesha "???"
I have never heard that song and don't care if I ever do again. I felt bad for her. This song sucked. She sang it okay, not great, but who cares about that song. They may as well have chosen "Short People" by Randy Newman for her to sing. I think she got the song choice shaft. Still the judges went too hard on her. And PAULA!!! When has Paula EVER said one word about who should make it in the finals??? Never, that's when. I couldn't believe she hung her out to dry like that. Total bummer. No finals for Syesha.

David Cook "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing"
I am totally serious when I say...horrible. I think he was off pitch the entire time. It was WAY under par. But the judges gave him good reviews and basically said, "See you in the finals." Whatever. I'm mad. Aerosmith was supercool on this song, David was not.

Here are my final thoughts. IF by some large miracle, Syesha beat out David Cook for the finals, it really wouldn't matter, because she is not going to win this, and I don't think she should; but I'd be happy to see her take him out after tonight. David Cook came in 3rd tonight, in my opinion. David A is winning this thing; and he should. Not that he's worked hard for it and deserves it. You can't work hard for something when you're 17. People like Bo Bice had worked hard...putting away years in bars and gigs for pennies, honing their craft. But since the American dream does not always require hard work, David A deserves it. This is about idols, not hard work. If Syesha knocked out David Cook tomorrow night, I would feel that justice was still alive in this world. I will be bummed (at least right now I would) if David Cook won this thing... but I think it's pretty much impossible for anyone besides David A to win. And don't forget, next week they pull out the sappy, "All Your Dreams Are Coming True" song, which is totally Archuletta's niche. I think he has bagged this.

In the finals:
David and David

Going Home tomorrow:
Syesha

Should be:
David Cook

Honoring Anonymous Wee

It's prom season. I don't remember much about mine other than this: the girl I went with (whom I went with as a friend, so we could have fun) decided we were meant to be together and went all moody on me and sat at the table all night saying, "Fine. I'm fine. Fine." She was very cool up until then though. Oh, and I won a TV at the afterward, at the party casino afterprom. Black and White, but still, I won it. I'm always winning things. Just ask Heather. A few years ago I was at a big luncheon when they announced, "Someone has a sticker under their glass. If it's you, you win something." I think it was a book I won that day. Thing is, because I was so confident that I won, I made my co-worker turn over my glass to check it for me. I knew simply because I'm always winning crap. And I'm not trying to make a big deal about this; but you know those people (you're probably one of them) who are always saying, "Man, I never win ANYthing." Well, that's because I'm ususally the one winning their stuff. I bet that'd be irritating. But I wouldn't know.

Tangent over.

So prom. I don't have alot to say about it. I just found this picture of my sister, whom I'm thinking too much about these days. Praying for her, celebrating a thousand memories I have of her, laughing at all the dumb things she has done, knowing that she'll be glad that I've whitened her teeth up in this picture. And she will thank me for it. She is the person I celebrate this week. And why? I don't know that I can tell you completely, other than to say she is one of the most incredible people ever. And I know this is true. Here's a few reasons why.

First of all her name is Trina, but I've called her "Wee" since I could talk. My girls call her Wee Wee. So on with the reasons.

She's strong? Amazingly. Don't know how she has made it as far as she has in life. People with our back story don't usually do too well, and well...we are pretty freaking awesome, if I do say so myself. We both think so. She has defied all odds in her life and always will.

Things I love about her. One of the people she mentored was a stripper. How exactly does that happen? Well, with Trina, it happens because she is one of those people that strippers seem to gravitate toward, and not because she stuffs bills in their money belt. It's because there is no fear of judgment from her, and they feel that. What's more is, she wouldn't just put up with the stripper and not judge her. That'd be way too christian with a small "c". Nope. She has celebrated this girl. Like really celebrated her. Like talked to me on the phone about her, saying all kinds of nice things, and I'd say, "The stripper?" just to make sure I knew who she was talking about. And it's not like she tries to find something positive about her, like some grandma might about their murdering grandson in the state penn. It's just comes from down deep in her golden heart somewhere. She really believes in this girl, that she's worth while, that's she's good. Love that about her. Kinda makes me wish I was a stripper.

Another thing I love about her. Changes her hair about every 6 to 8 weeks. And I'm not talking a haircut here. I'm talking full blown color, streaks, chip and a chop, bang in, bang out styling makeovers. And always calls me with the same message: "My hair looks sooooo cute! You should see it. Wait, I'll take a picture on my phone and send it to you." Great self worth, and has every reason for it.

Hmmm... she's probably made me laugh harder than anyone I've ever known. For instance, she's been doing Yoga for years, which is so not her - at least I didn't think so. But she loves it. So one evening she calls me while she's doing her yoga and having a glass of wine; must've been stress. Anyway, she says, "Have you ever stood on your head while you were drinking wine?" No. "It makes you dizzy!" "Really? Interesting." She's hilarious. And while she makes me laugh all the time, she probably laughs more than anyone I've ever known.

One of my very favorite things is how she is alway cross examining clerks at whatever store she goes into. Here is an example of the possible discourse with a clerk at the local video store:

Her: "Hey, what if this DVD is scratched?"
Clerk: "Ummm. What do you mean?"
Her: "Well, if it starts skipping, what do you guys do?"
Clerk: "You just bring it back."
Her: "So I have to bring it back? And then what? You just give me a new one and that's it?
Clerk: "Uhhh...yeah."
Her: "That doesn't seem fair. Shouldn't you give me a few free rentals or something?" (slight look at me and laughing. "I mean, Cmon."
Me: (Internal conversation with myself) "Why does she do this? What does she have against clerks? Did one break up with her in high school? Was it her secret ambition to be one but she just couldn't cut it?"
Her: "Have a nice day." (and then to me) "What?!"
The End

She's a serious Mother. Her kids are now 23, 20, and 19 and they all love her, call her, talk to her, are friends with her, are themselves with her, don't hide from her. That's a dream for all of us with kids. It's mine for sure.

She loves my wife and is always telling me how awesome Heather is. This is a great quality in a sister, especially since brothers and sisters who are close can tend to really dislike the person their sibling marries; especially if they are altogether different than them. And let's just say Heather and Trina probably wouldn't be classified in the same category on the Myers Briggs personality profile. Where Heather would be steak and a baked potato, Trina would be pop rocks and sugar bread. ;) A sister that celebrates your wife, and is not threatened by her, has to be one who is true; to themselves and others. There's great honor in that.

I love that she can't really get mad. Definitely not MAD mad. She told me she was going to try to get mad one time. She said her kids and hubby were bugging her and she was going to see if she could throw a great big fit and scare them all. Well, after the big fit she called to tell me, "I couldn't really get my voice to scream very loud. It kept cracking and the kids just started laughing at me?" "So what did you do?" I asked. "Did you keep up the charade?" "Well, I tried, but I think they could tell I was faking it. But when I threw Rich's laptop at the fireplace they stopped laughing at me." "You what?!!! You threw his computer at the fireplace?!!! So were you really mad when you threw it?" I asked. "Mmmm...not really. But like I told you, I wanted to throw a fit. A BIG one."

Best part about my sister. She's always there. Always. We came up together...survivors. We went through the death of my brother together. I talk to her on the phone 5 or 6 times a week. She is 6 and a half years older than me and has honesly been like a mother to me in many ways. When I was little and she could drive, she would take me everywhere with her. My mom and step dad would send her to get pop all the time and she and I would get in the car and go. We'd escape for 2o or 30 minutes and laugh and sing whatever was on G-98. At the store she would buy me those Cellar's chocalate covered cherries. They were 2 for a quarter. I thought she was the absolute coolest person I had ever seen.

Whe she got ready for dates I would watch her fix her Farrah Fawcett hair (flip head down...1,2,3 brush, brush - flip head up and POOF- Charlie's Angels) I always thought she looked so cool putting on make up and talking all...highschool. She was only 17 or so at the time, but she could've been 35 to me. She seemed so old, but she was just a kid.

When I was in elementary school there was a talent show and I wanted to sing for it but was too scared. Trina talked me into it. She took me to the music store and picked out a song the kids in my school "would love." Barry Manilow. "Seriously? They'll love this? Who is this guy?" "Oh trust me," she says, "They will love this song." The song? Can't Smile Without You. We practiced it a thousand times in her bedroom, singing to the giant vinyl album, of course. I didn't win the talent show that year. I didn't even place, but I did it - and loved it. And my sister was there, cheering me on the whole time. The next year I entered again and won 2nd place out of the whole school, and she was there again. She was always there.

It probably sounds odd to some, to say my sister was there for me - encouraging me, even raising me; but she was - and I'm a better man because of it. Because of her.

So here's to you Wee. Surely the best sister ever! Now get a blog and make yourself an official part of this forum. We're all waiting for you!!!

I'd like to sign off this blog with the cheesy, but very appropriate lyrics to the first song I've ever performed before a crowd, at my sister's prodding.

I love you more than I can tell you. Thanks for everything you've ever done for me, and for everything you are.

Can't Smile Without You
(whistling intro)
You know I Can't Smile Without You
I Can't Smile Without You
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see, I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If You only knew what I'm go ing through
I just Can't Smile Without You

You came along just like a song and brightened my day
Who'd've believe that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

I Can't Smile Without You
I Can't Smile Without You
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything
Y ou see, I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If You only knew what I'm going through
I just Can't Smile Without You

DRIVE CONFERENCE

left to right: me, our teaching pastor, our worship arts pastor, our video guy, our tech director

We went to a conference last week, in Atlanta, called "Drive" which I think means move forward or something. It was a good conference and a good time of male bonding, which is always nice.

Scott. (blue t-shirt) made me laugh pretty hard. He loves to make you feel stupid, and since I love that too, we get along. Whenever you go to tell him something that you are sort of surprised about; for instance, "I can't believe how much the tickets cost for that concert." He will make his eyes get all big, and then cover his mouth and say something like, "That's unbelievable!" It's pretty funny actually, and you can't really tell it from this picture, but I pretty much hate him. Look him up under Scotty P and Fam

Jay. (front and center) Well, he's my boss so I have to pretend to like him since he could fire me if he wanted. He has an org list or something, and I think he's above me on it. Not that he should be. I'm pretty sure that just happened by accident. He's lucky he's nice.

Stan. (curly hair and man beard) He's holding a bible. Takes that thing everywhere. I wonder if he feels pressure to do that since he's the teaching pastor. I think I'm going to start carrying around a hymnal. Stan is pretty laid back and easy going; great guy, interesting conversations. He has five kids! That's right, five. Check out his wife's blog here.

Jason. (the baby) The boy is from Murray, Kentucky and proud of it. Says things like, "Wull yeah!" to confirm any question you ask. He says this in sort of a high pitched, Mamaw voice. He also calls a shopping cart a "buggy." Jason edits some serious video. He used to work for the Colts and has a super bowl ring that he keeps...somewhere. Anyway, he is single. Yep - ladies line up. This boy can make a mean casserole!

I enjoyed the conference for the most part. There were a couple real good sessions, but I struggled with one of the speakers who (in my unexpert opinion) had Botox. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I struggled because I like it when people I'm supposed to look up to, are...look up to...able. And the botox made me think that he'd bought into some lie that told him he needed to not have crows feet around his eyes while he pontificated from the platform.(uh huh, that's right). As I have mentioned before, sometimes I struggle to let go of things that are stinky or strange in some way, and botox on a man of 40 something would be one of those things that fits in this category. I was able to let it go once I was able to confirm my suspicions in the bookstore, where I compared his older book pictures with his newer book pictures.

The best part of the conference was the "secret road trip" which landed us in 90 minutes of traffic, which landed us in food lines that had no food left, which landed us eating Brats, several of them, which gave me a stomach ache. But the road trip was awesome because we had no idea what the big surprise was. We all gathered in this big room (we were fourth row - you're welcome men) and watched this blue grass group perform, which none of the rest of us really cared about too much, but Jason "hooted and hollard" like he was at a Hee Haw convention. I'm pretty sure he liked it. After they left the stage, the lights dimmed and a smart car pulled out on the stage; you could feel the tension. "Who's in there? I don't know. Is it someone famous? I don't know? Is it someone from Hee Haw?" So out of the car steps this guy. He made us laugh for a little over and hour. And while I've never really been a big fan of his, I am now. I laughed hard!

That's pretty much it. I came home with some fireworks from a truck stop, so that's good.

Sorry I've been truant on my blog this last week (all my fans). I'll be stepping it up this week.

Friends, Birthdays, God

For Heather's birthday we went out with our friends Rick and Karen the other night. Okay, it was FUN! Laughed alot, good food and good convo. It was Rick's birthday too. I love when people have trouble keeping their eyes open for pictures. It's especially funny to me when you say, "Okay, let's try that ONE MORE TIME," and it still doesn't work. Rick did manage to get one of his eyes just barely opened, before he finally went "balls out" for our final pic of the night.

Balls Out: I believe this expression originated with the early steam engines whose governors were a pair of spinning balls, which described a larger and larger circle as the demanded speed, and hence their rotational speed, increased to control the steam valve and hence the flow of steam from boiler to pistons.

When the rods were spun around their vertical axis, the centrifugal force given to the balls caused them to pull out, thus making the hinges bend? Tho I can't give the definitive source, I can confirm that "balls out" does come from the days of steam engines and their governing devices. To know this sort of detail about steam engines, you'd have to be kinda geeky, which I'm not, so I looked it up. (Way less geeky)

Anyway, I have told Heather before that Rick kinda reminds me of God. And here's why: He's pretty strange in an endearing sort of way; somewhat childlike, funny, easy to be around. I think God is like that. The only other people that I've imagined God to sort of be like is this amazing bass player named Abe Laborial. Abe is an overweight black man (jett black) with white hair. When I saw him in concert, after every worship song he played, he would throw his hands up in the air and start clapping something fierce for God. Loved that. Oh, and most recently I thought Annie Lennox probably looks like God. I saw her perform for "Idol Gives Back" and was mesmerized by her. Check out my post on that here.

I realize this puts alot of pressure on Rick :) Looking like God would be, ya know...stressful. Anyway, when I first said this to Heather, quite a while ago, she said, "Why?" And I wasn't totally sure; but the other night Rick did something that made me think, "That's it! That's why!" As we were talking about yard work and planting flowers and stuff, he said (and was totally serious)

"I like dandelions."

To which I replied, "You mean daffodils?"

"No. Dandelions...you know, the weed ones."

I've actaully had this feeling before but felt like I shouldn't like them. Kind of how I feel like I shouldn't like Blue Jays cause Heather says they're in the same family as Crows and they eat bird eggs out of nests. (She's always ruining crap like this for me.)

"So why do you like them?" I say. (I was reeled in)

"They're yellow," he says, as if to say, "What's not to love?" Then he says, "They're all over my yard. I dunno, I just think they look nice." "Oh," he added, "Plus you can do that 'Momma had a baby and her head popped off' thing with them."

I think I'm going to embrace the fact that I like Dandelions. Although when Heather finds out she'll probably tell me they cause Gangrene. If she does, I'll think I'll just say, "Oh, I know. I like Gangrene too.

New Excerpt From Upcoming Book

Chapter entitled: "Should"

Robert E. Howard's final words left in his typewriter before he took his own life in 1936. He was 30 years old

“I should have.” We always think of the word “should” as something that needed to be done, but that for some reason, didn’t end up happening. “I should’ve gone to the store tonight.” Or, “I should’ve said I’m sorry.” It’s a strong word, for sure. It’s a word that most of the time is somehow attached to guilt. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Have you seen the movie, “Castaway” with Tom Hanks. After he is rescued from being shipwrecked on an uninhabited island for about an hour and thirty five or forty minutes, (movie time that is) he is on his way home on an airplane, and is with a friend. Tom Hanks’ character realizes that his friend has not only buried him in a memorial service, but also had to bury his own wife soon thereafter. In that moment Tom Hanks says to his friend,
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been there for you.”

Should have.

Well Tom, you were abandoned on an island just south of nowhere, I think he’s going to understand your absence at his wife’s funeral. And this rationale makes sense, doesn’t it? But it only makes sense because we only think of the word “should” in terms of our lack of doing something, our lack of dedication to some task that went undone and made things shoddy or imperfect in one way or another. But what if “should” was not about us at all? What if “should” was situational in that, whatever the imperfect situation was lacking, it should not have been that way? But then take the blame away. Stop acting as if you or someone else made this situation bad by not participating or accomplishing something needed to pull it off. The situation is flawed, and the only thing that can fix it is nothing. But “should” exposes it; let’s us know it’s potential. “Should” shows us the beauty of what was intended to be there, and would have been there, apart from a fallen world.

In the book of Psalms the word “should” is used… (This is where you think I’m going to say TEN THOUSAND TIMES!!!) Actually, it’s only used five times. But in looking over those five times I noticed something. “I will instruct you in the way you should go… …why should I fear when evil days come… …that he should live on forever and not see decay… …why should the nations say ‘Where is their God?’” There is something powerful implied in everyone of these, and throughout the bible. It’s the “on earth as it is in heaven” implication. The “Woopsie, I bit the apple and so did Adam, and now things are not the way they should have been,” undertone. Had there been no evil, there should be no fear. Had there been no fall in the garden, there should be no death. Had there been no original sin, there should have been no need to “instruct you in the way you should go.” You would have just stayed in the garden. That’s the way it should have been.

Like I said, “should” is a powerful thing. If you think about it, it sent Jesus to the cross. Yep, God on a cross; and it should have never happened. But…it did. And this is where things change for us. There is no way we should be walking around, throughout our lives, blaming ourselves for all the things we have or have not done. This kind of should was NOT the intention for us. We were to live peacefully, guilt free. That’s right. And the only time we were to be blamed for all of the sadness, emptiness, darkness and sin in this world, the only time we should have been blamed, God stepped in and took our blame; our should.

Maybe it sounds like a copout to you. And maybe you’re right. Go ask your friends. They should tell you the truth. (Hilarious!) But the whole reason I make this point is not so we can go on doing (or not doing) the things that are sinful, that have left this world and the lives of those in it, fragmented. Not at all. The reason I bring this up is because of how restrictive the should-ing gets. So restrictive that the transformation of things we are supposed to be making heavenly, out of things that are earthly, remain firmly rooted in planet earth. Lemons do not turn into lemonade, and the turd never gets polished. Therefore, our “should” is not at all redemptive, nor is the guilt or blame which almost always seems to accompany it.

Tom Hanks was right; he should have been there for his friend. He couldn’t possibly have been, but he still should have been. He should have been able to find a way to get to his friend and help him. He should have been able to be there as this guy’s wife drew her last breath. Maybe he should have been able to bring her back to life. Or maybe this woman never should have died in the first place. But she did. Post Eden, every one dies, even though it never should have been this way. But try as I might, I will never be able to do anything about that. I might feel like I should be able to, but I can’t. And the weight of that kind of responsibility should have never fallen into my lap, should it have?

And if after reading this, you feel guilty for all the should-ing; well…you shouldn’t.