SUE: transitive verb a: to seek justice or right from (a person) b: to bring action against

I was talking to my sister today and she was telling me about how the garbage/waste contamination people didn't pick something up at her house. I can't remember what. Anyway, she tells me she was complaining to her friend, Sue, about it, and Sue says, "Did I tell you about what happened with my refrigerator when I put it out to the curb?

"No," my sister says.

Now before I go on, you must know that from everything my sister has told me about Sue, she is a tenacious, get'r'dun, doesn't take "No" for an answer kinda girl. Apparently her daughter missed the Kindergarten cut off date by 3 days and her school wouldn't budge to let her in. So Sue changed her daughter's birth certificate to get her in. (true story) This child is now in college, and lived her entire childhood with a different birthdate, as far as her schools knew. I know, impressive.

Anyway, Sue goes on to explain to my sister that a couple weeks earlier she put her old refrigerator out to the curb for pick up. So the garbage people...(I'm sure that's politically incorrect, since the garbage people are not "made" of garbage. "Garbage People" sounds like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.) Anyway, the garbage people snub Sue's refrigerator altogether, leaving a note saying that it must be "inspected," which means that a Refrigerant Genius must come to their house, remove the can of refrigertor crap that keeps things cold, and remove all the storage stuff inside...and THEN they will haul it away.

Sounds expensive.

An enraged Sue attacking my sister in the squared circle.

This will make sense soon, I promise.

So rather than hire a Refrigerant Genius, Sue gets the can of frion out herself. She also removes all the storage stuff, puts it all in plastic bags, and puts everything, including the refrigerator, back out to the curb and waits for the trash people. (I know, I'm a pig)

When garbage day finally arrives they leave the refrigerator at the curb AGAIN!

"Grrrr!" Sue says.

And they leave a note that says, "This refrigerator must be inspected by a Refrigerent Genius and he must leave a sticker on the refrigerator showing proof that it has been PROFESSIONALLY inspected. We will not remove your old refrigerator without this proof," or something like that.

This is my favorite part. Like I said, Tenacious.

So Sue is thinking, "I don't think so! These trash people are taking this sucker, like it or not." So she hauls the refrigerator into back yard, GETS OUT A SLEDGEHAMMER, and begins the process of beating the old refrigerator into oblivion! Apparantly a couple neighbor ladies brought out their sledgehammers and helped. After the refrigerator was beaten into a fine powder, they put the remains in trash bags and, yep, put it out to the curb.

It was picked up the following week.

And these are the qualities that make up who we are. You can't breed this sort of thing into a person. You either have it, or you don't. You either murder old refrigerators with a sledgehammer or you don't. Still, it makes you wonder how a person comes up with an idea like this. It really is sort of brilliant, don't you think?

I'm just glad her daughter's school accepted the felonious birth certificate. I'm sure they had no idea what they were dealing with.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you....Sue