Holiday Poop

I was looking through some tax stuff today (yes I know I've only got I've 2 days left) and found this. It made me laugh so I thought I would share it, even though it is from this last Christmas. Man, can I be cynical during the holidays.

At gymnastics the other day, this lady had this HUGE diamond ring on, which I think made her think she could boss people around. Not that everyone who wears a big diamond ring thinks they can boss people around, but if you’re the bossy type, a big diamond ring does give you special powers. She had Christmas wrapping paper order forms and was no doubt planning on wrapping her presents in that Martha Stewart way, where kids have to wear ringlets in their hair on Christmas morning, and talk with British accents as they meticulously peel away the wrapping paper from their new Encyclopedia Britannica collections, exclaiming “Bugger me! Muh-ma, these are lovely!”

She was sitting down and my daughter was standing in front of her. So she asked my daughter to sit down because she couldn’t see her daughter , but did it in that sugary sweet way where your kid looks at you and knows this is not a nice person, even if they are talking in a nice tone. I really wanted to say, “Why do you care whether or not you can see your daughter? She sucks!” But since I love Jesus, I didn’t say that, but instead made friendly conversation and asked her how much her ring cost.

The holidays are right around the corner, aren’t they? I’m never sure how people really feel about the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Some people act as though nothing could be better than writing down a list of fourteen thousand things to do, from finding Hallelujah Barbie for their pastor’s daughter to getting “real” cranberries to make dead Grandma’s, used to be famous, cranberry salad. I always love the scroogy people who just lay it out there; “Someone hit me over the head and wake me up on January first.” I think I’m a little more in the middle. I love it and hate it. Love it because of traditions and Christmas music and good presents (iTunes cards please). And hate it because too often kids at Christmas act like the kids you see at Disney World. You know what I’m talking about; kids crying because even though they just got off of Space Mountain and have a pile of cotton candy in their hand, Goofy just walked right by them and didn’t bother to act like an idiot and say “Yuck, Yuck…I’m Goofy,” so their whole frickin’ day is ruined.

Ah well…it’s still Christmas. I’ll try to celebrate in spite of Big Diamond Ring lady. Who knows, maybe she has a bad marriage. Maybe the special powers generated from her big diamond ring are all she has going for her right now. Or maybe she’s just mean. It really doesn’t matter – deep down I want to have the guts to be genuinely good to people like that. Not to become their doormat. But to be good to them because it’s the right thing AND because it changes things for the better. And that’s the point anyway, right?