Please Celebrate Her Home!

Before...

After...


You guys, please celebrate her home!

American Idol Recap

Jason Castro:
I've always thought his confusion was a part of his charm. But not today. He was puffing up his cheeks while they were talking, and watching David C. take the stage while Ryan was still talking to him. Someone forgot their ritalin. And his songs....terrible. Actually the first was was decent. But the second, I could not repeat one word or note of it. Boring. Definitely bottom two - and he should probably do some packing.

David Cook:
I like him...still. Okay, let's talk about David though. Musically, love him. Great arranger, singer, great, great, great. Now hear me out for a sec. I'm not sure, but last week I thought... "Is david getting a little cocky?" There was one point, on voting night, when the two Davids were standing together and all the little Archuletta girls were screaming ...AT DAVID ARCHULETTA! Well, David Cook did this slight smile their way...AS IF! I think he thought they were screaming for him. David, we like your music, but you're a little creepy looking. And then tonight, while singing his second song, I could've sworn he did this "I'm already a rock star" eyebrow thing to some of the girls in the front row. Idunknow, i think he gettin' a wee bit too cool. But...still love his music. He will be just fine tomorrow.

Brooke:
Song #1 Dollywood
Song #2 REALLY liked it
Still don't like her very much. Makes me break out in a nervous sweat.

David Archuletta:
His voice is soooo pretty. Love it. But "Sweet Caroline" was marginal, pitchy, stupid. "We're coming to America" was better, but he looked like Elvis in "Jailhouse Rock." Anyone catch him when he got a little irritated at Simon? Simon said somewhat sarcastically, "That was a smart choice," referring to "Coming to America." Well, little David sort of winced and made this "What? I like that song, and I didn't sing it so "America" would vote for me." face. You don't like it David. We don't either. And neither does your dad, who made you sing it. Safe. Eyeometer: Still open.

Syesha:
Okay, I know I haven't been a fan. But I have to say, who even cares about her second song, which was just fine, "Hello" was about as professional a performance as I've seen on Idol. Simon said it was old fashioned. Totally disagree. I love it when a singer has all those vocal capabilities, vocal gymnastic abilities, reigns it all in, and just sings a song. It was beautiful! In my opinion, it was WAY the best performance of the night, and was probably the second best performance of the season, next to David Cook's "Eleanor Rigby." So will she be in trouble???? You just never know, do you? She could be depending on what America thinks of her past performances. I say, shouldn't be, based on this performance. No how.

Paula:
Her first song was schizophrenic, but her second song...wait, didn't she do ten songs? I thought she did twenty five songs!!!

Leaving this week: Castro
Should be: Castro
Might be: Syesha

Spring is HERE!!!

Just keep saying it in unison and maybe it will stick!

Opening for "The Care Free Gurls" Featuring: "Slick Pic"

DON'T MISS IT!!!
Have a great weekend everyone!

The Band is Getting Back Together

This summer at "Beth's Pool?"

Katie...Krista, can you come?

THE SHACK

I just finished reading this novel called, "The Shack" by: William P. Young. It was recommended to our church by our Lead Pastor, Steve Poe.

Now at first, I have to be honest, I was not expecting this read to be what it was. Since Steve is a Leader, with a capital "LEADER" I would have expected him to recommend something from John Maxwell's leadership series, but a novel? I didn't see that coming! Nevertheless, he stood before our church this weekend and told us that it has changed his life, which for me is the kind of stuff that makes you want to crack someone's head open on the sidewalk and see what comes pouring out.

So, like I said, I finished it up tonight. I will not tell you much, but here's what I will tell you:

1. I was reeled in between chapters one and two.

2. About 1/4 of the way in, the book took a turn, and I lost interest ...but I pressed on.

3. It quickly picked back up and I was mesmerized!!!

LOVED IT!

Tonight, after I finished it, I went for a walk. I was thinking about the book and some of the stuff in it, and remembered for the first time in a long time, that JESUS walks with me, and SHE talks with me, and HE tells me I am his own. I realized again, that we are deeply connected to God; that we are loved; Always.

I'm telling ya. Get this book. Really good stuff!

Oh, and it's short (250 pages) which I'm all about.

IDOL RECAP: Final 6

Syesha
I didn't think she did as well as everyone seemed to think. Great voice, but even her version of "tons of personality" is a little boring. She looked great though, but I think she's going home.

David Archuletta
He opened his eyes! That was a step in the right direction. He sang the best of the evening, but that's not surprising. I think he's got this competition in the bag

Carly
Loved her dress. Best she's ever looked. She chose a great song for her, but the key??? It was too high for her in the chorus. And I still think she is still a little stiff in her performances. Just let go.

Brooke
Since it was literally the first 2 bars of the song, I thought starting over was fine. She was still pitchy in those sustained notes. She has gotten a little worse each week in my opinion. Totally forgettable performance.

Jason
I actually thought his voice sounded very pretty on this song. I thought he was second best of the evening. He had those ugly shoes on again though.

David Cook
Well...even though he is my fav, I must say I thought this was an average performance of the song. I thought alot of his phrasing was rushed and not very heart felt. The thingy at the end, the little "I Will Always Love You: Whitney Houston" ending, was corny.

Overall evalution:
Andrew Lloyd Weber made a point of letting these kids know that his songs are stories and are about the story telling. As a writer once put it, "Stories only happen to people who can tell them." My point is, have these kids had enough life experience to tell their stories through these songs? I don't think so. And if they have, do they understand how the events in their lives have shaped them? My guess is no.

That being said, it was interesting to see these young performers early in their careers, unable to communicate or get across the nature of their songs. It's much easier to communicate angst and anger at these ages, than it is to interpret love and pain. One of the only past Idol performers that could have done this night justice, in my opinion, would have been Fantasia.

Leaving tonight: Syesha

Should be: Brooke

The Material Girl: Why You Should Read Her Blog

I am beginning this new adventure of honoring those people whose blogs I read and have linked to my blog. I realize that some of you do not know each other, which is, in my opinion, a shame. If you'd like to be in the running for being honored on my very low traffic'd blog, please send me a picture of yourself, if you are linked to this blog - so I can photoshop you into a complete nightmare, and then tell the rest of the readers why they should be reading your blog.

This is my first "Honoring Post," and I would begin with:

The Material Girl


First of all, this is a FASCINATING person. I wasn't at all surprised when I received a photo from Katie first. She is a clown and loves crap like this. What a good sport!

Okay. So Heather and I knew Katie from when we lived in Flint, Michigan. We met her shortly after she and her husband began coming to our church. We were immediately drawn to her DRY sense of humor and her realness. I must say that I love creativity, but what is so cool about Katie was how she can take anything...empty toilet paper rolls, and whip them up into something worthy of hanging on your wall. She just has that sort of knack in her.

When she had barely known us at all, she was in our house, helping with design and decorating and sewing curtains and pillows. Cool ones! I also rarely saw Katie get worked up over her kids. She always seemed to be able to laugh at the very irritating things kids can do that make you lose your mind.

Okay, so that's all well and good. But that's not why you're here. Let's move on to the good stuff. Let me tell you why I really think she's cool. First of all, there are NOT ENOUGH people in the world who enjoy downright weirdness. I do. Always have. So finding out that Katie was also one of those rare and gifted individuals, perhaps even casting a shadow over my gift, was sheer bliss. Now, some people notice weird things, but there are a slim few who not only notice something odd, (like a stray, lone, white eyebrow hair in a pile of black ones) but who try to get different angles at which to view it, finding empty reasons to move around the person just to see it again. And then to psycho analyze the person with the eyebrow. "Do they know? Do they like it? Does their spouse mind it?" And at follow up encounters... "Yep, it's still there. I think it's longer, whiter, thicker. Should I tell them?"

Contrary to popluar belief (at least in my household) this is not a voluntary act. This is something in the DNA (as I'm sure only Katie knows) that cannot be controlled. Not that it ever should be.

I remember an evening at our home - we had some people over our house. Katie was there. Toward the end of the evening, everyone had left the get-together, except Katie and Jeff, and I kept smelling something....something odd. Something really odd. Stinky. Poopy. Anyway, I was wondering, "Did our dog poop in the house? Where is that coming from?"

Me: "Katie, do you smell it?"

Katie: "I do. What is that?"

Me: "I don't know. Smells like poop."

Katie: "Hmmm." And at that, with her coffee in her hand, she begins combing the area, with her nose. Smelling the walls, the floor, and then...

The Big Chair.

Okay, So Katie doesn't announce, "I've found it. Your chair smells like butt!" Instead, she gently sniffs The Big Chair cushion, looks my way, and points at it with a knowing smile as if to say, "Yes...here it is. This is what we've all been smelling."

So for the next 15 minutes or so, Katie and I talk about the smell.

"Who was it from? Who was sitting there? Did you see? Did you? Was it just gas, or were there other problems?"

And then, when the smell had begun to evaporate from our nostrils, we'd give it another whiff and continue our questions.

"How does that happen? Could they smell it? Will the smell come out? Or is The Big Chair forever contaminated?"

Whiff...talk...whiff...talk some more.

Heather and Jeff were given several pportunities to have a smell, of which they politely declined. But Katie...she understands that this is not something you pass up. That this is, in fact, good wholesome entertainment.

There are a host of other reasons to read Katie's blog, but this is why I read "MATERIAL GIRL." Because she's hilarious, creative, insightful and real. This person is ALIVE!!!

If you'd like to read her blog, you can find it listed on my "some people's blogs i know" column, under "Funny Katie."

Read on!

Things I Love and Hate About Heather

Things I Hate About Her!


I hate when she rides her bike while I'm leading worship


Drives me crazy.


I also hate it when she wrangles the morning doves outside
of my office window. I like them there, but she insists
they are full of disease and bacteria.

Things I LOVE About Her!


Her performance on American Idol. Totally Awesome!

When she rides around in my office at work. First of all it's

pretty darn cute. But it's also a much more appropriate time.


Whenever Heather hears there's been an earthquake

she is always on the scene, doing whatever she can to help!

A concert for those affected by the earthquake?

Absolutely!

Check out Heather's blog about the earthquake HERE

And her follow up to it...HERE

I Used to Hate Food...Those Days are Over!

Heather would tell you that I've never been a big eater. I've been told I eat like a bird. I've even been imitated by a friend who would peck at this plate at lunchtime and say, "Hey you guys, who am I?" The things normal people do, like snack in the evenings during TV time, I've never done. Sometimes I'd actually skip meals because it was inconvenient to eat; what with all the pulling crap out of the fridge and trying to find the mustard. On occasion, when I've gotten so hungry that I knew I needed to eat (to survive) I'd eat a few pieces of bread. Easy. Filling.

I've heard Heather say things like, "Just once it would be so great to hear YOU say, 'Oooo, let's stop at Dairy Queen!'" Or, "How do you sit there for 3 hours straight, watching TV and not once get up and walk to the kitchen?"

Okay, so that was then.

This past summer I began to face some pretty big issues in my life. (None of your business. This is not that kind of blog, sheesh!) I had heard of "comfort food" but had never experienced what it was to gaze at a bowl of ice cream romantically.

To be honest, it started with a little sugar here, and a little sugar there. And before long, it was a little sugar everywhere, and things began to get out of hand. I was eating up all the kid's lunch snacks, and arguing with them about it. "Chloe, is that the last cereal bar? Give it here. Now!" That sort of garbage. This past Halloween was like Christmas for me. I ate so much candy but never got sick. In the past I've always been one to throw the halloween candy away after a couple weeks or so. And I had plans to throw it out, but instead hid it in the garage just in case.

This last Easter I actually ate peeps! Which have always been pure nastification to me. But these were purple peeps, which I hadn't seen before, and for some reason they just looked...so...tasty, and...delectable. Heather showed me how to eat them. I didn't know eating peeps could be plotted and planned, but I was wrong. First you tear out their eyeballs with your fingers. Then you bite their little heads off and suck on them for about a minute or so. And then you shove the rest of the nisty-nasty marshmallow and sugar baby chicken body in your mouth. Mmmmm!

Okay, so. Ice Cream. Love it. I eat BIG BOWLS OF ICE CREAM. Big ones. And I usually go back for a refill, or if I feel bad, I just pull out the box and eat it at the counter because that doesn't really count.

I was at some friend's house not too long ago, and they asked me if I wanted some ice cream to which I replied, "Yes please." When she brought it to me, I guess it was probably what most people would consider a normal bowl of ice cream, ya know, a couple scoops or so. Alright. This is how I know I'm a little out of control. I was mad at her. No kidding. I was seriously irritated when she brought it to me. Like what was I supposed to do with this tiny little frickin' bowl of ice cream? I'd rather not have any thank you very much.

But I ate it up. Cookies and Cream.

So tonight I learned something new. I'm guessing that some of you may already know this, but these are things I'm learning, feeling, craving, for the first time in my life. So tonight I opened up the tub of Ice Cream. I was about to start the horrible task of digging it out with the big spoon ( great exercise) when I thought, "I don't feel like digging. I'll just eat out of the box and put it back when I'm finished." There was a little over half of a half gallon.

I ate it all. It was Snicker's.

And while eating from the box proved to be convenient, it was not such a good idea. I ate til I was sick. But I was happy - and all my problems disappeared.

I don't plan on doing this forever. I realize that I will need to give this up at some point; and I plan to. But for now, I'm enjoying enjoying my food. Did you catch that? MY food. A warning sign. So let me know if you have any pointers. Not quitting pointers. Eating pointers.

A.I. Recap

ALLLLLLLRighty!

David Archuletta
He is TOOOO YOUNG! I'm afraid he will turn out like Michael Jackson if he wins. Boys his age cannot handle all the crazy "Beatle-ish" attention of girls pulling their hair out at the sight of them. This is how they end up with a nose the size of a Tic Tac. But his vocals are very pretty. And I love his voice. Who cares about that song though? I thought it was a little boring.

Carly Smithson
Her husband has his face tattooed. I'm still too mad about that to comment on her.

Syesha
I thought she did beautiful last night. Best performance of the evening. In past weeks I have thought, "This girl has a TON of raw talent, but does not know how to treat a song."
Treat A Song: To not just sing a song, but to vocally interpret it in "your own way" and sing it from your heart. Oh, shut up, I know that sounds retarded.

Brooke White
I actually breathed a sigh of relief when she was done. I sort of felt like a team of wild horses dragged her through that performance. When they did a close up of her at the end of the song, she was all shakey like she was 2 days into a stint at rehab. But I must say, she is INSECURE. Everytime they say something negative, she's all like, "I know, I know, I just..." and then she goes trailing off. Not a fan (of her theology either.)

Kristy Lee Cook
I have literally screamed "GO HOME" to the TV in past weeks as she has sang. Last night, she did pretty good. And I like that song as a country song, even though I detest country music. The girl has serious breath control though. Anyone notice where she took her last breath? It was quite a ways before the end -and she held onto to it forever. She's winning me over...a little.

David Cook
Great arranger. He has totally been my favorite, and still is. Love him. BUT... he didn't sing very good last night. Loved the potential of what it could have been is a great way to sum it up. He needed to punch it up toward the end. Wasn't very good.

Jason Castro
Besides the fact that he sort of looks like Mariah, he did good. What were those shoes saying though. Wow. I think they were saying, "someone get me a sock tie and a pair of egyptian baggies.

Mariah Carey
Not a fan at all. She is irritating. However, she was super sweet and encouraging to all of them, which slightly redeemed her in my eyes. (Pretty sure she doesn't care.) Oh, and I thought it was sweet when she lied to Kristy Lee Cook and told her that she gave her chills.

Who will go home:
Should: Kristy Lee Cook (I'm trying to be fair)
Will: Syesha. (bummer) She's has been much better recently.

My top 3: (top to bottom)
David Cook
David Archuletta
Carly Smithson

My bottom 3: (top to bottom)
Jason Castro
Kristy Lee Cook
Brook White

Let me know what you think...

SUE: transitive verb a: to seek justice or right from (a person) b: to bring action against

I was talking to my sister today and she was telling me about how the garbage/waste contamination people didn't pick something up at her house. I can't remember what. Anyway, she tells me she was complaining to her friend, Sue, about it, and Sue says, "Did I tell you about what happened with my refrigerator when I put it out to the curb?

"No," my sister says.

Now before I go on, you must know that from everything my sister has told me about Sue, she is a tenacious, get'r'dun, doesn't take "No" for an answer kinda girl. Apparently her daughter missed the Kindergarten cut off date by 3 days and her school wouldn't budge to let her in. So Sue changed her daughter's birth certificate to get her in. (true story) This child is now in college, and lived her entire childhood with a different birthdate, as far as her schools knew. I know, impressive.

Anyway, Sue goes on to explain to my sister that a couple weeks earlier she put her old refrigerator out to the curb for pick up. So the garbage people...(I'm sure that's politically incorrect, since the garbage people are not "made" of garbage. "Garbage People" sounds like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.) Anyway, the garbage people snub Sue's refrigerator altogether, leaving a note saying that it must be "inspected," which means that a Refrigerant Genius must come to their house, remove the can of refrigertor crap that keeps things cold, and remove all the storage stuff inside...and THEN they will haul it away.

Sounds expensive.

An enraged Sue attacking my sister in the squared circle.

This will make sense soon, I promise.

So rather than hire a Refrigerant Genius, Sue gets the can of frion out herself. She also removes all the storage stuff, puts it all in plastic bags, and puts everything, including the refrigerator, back out to the curb and waits for the trash people. (I know, I'm a pig)

When garbage day finally arrives they leave the refrigerator at the curb AGAIN!

"Grrrr!" Sue says.

And they leave a note that says, "This refrigerator must be inspected by a Refrigerent Genius and he must leave a sticker on the refrigerator showing proof that it has been PROFESSIONALLY inspected. We will not remove your old refrigerator without this proof," or something like that.

This is my favorite part. Like I said, Tenacious.

So Sue is thinking, "I don't think so! These trash people are taking this sucker, like it or not." So she hauls the refrigerator into back yard, GETS OUT A SLEDGEHAMMER, and begins the process of beating the old refrigerator into oblivion! Apparantly a couple neighbor ladies brought out their sledgehammers and helped. After the refrigerator was beaten into a fine powder, they put the remains in trash bags and, yep, put it out to the curb.

It was picked up the following week.

And these are the qualities that make up who we are. You can't breed this sort of thing into a person. You either have it, or you don't. You either murder old refrigerators with a sledgehammer or you don't. Still, it makes you wonder how a person comes up with an idea like this. It really is sort of brilliant, don't you think?

I'm just glad her daughter's school accepted the felonious birth certificate. I'm sure they had no idea what they were dealing with.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you....Sue

Holiday Poop

I was looking through some tax stuff today (yes I know I've only got I've 2 days left) and found this. It made me laugh so I thought I would share it, even though it is from this last Christmas. Man, can I be cynical during the holidays.

At gymnastics the other day, this lady had this HUGE diamond ring on, which I think made her think she could boss people around. Not that everyone who wears a big diamond ring thinks they can boss people around, but if you’re the bossy type, a big diamond ring does give you special powers. She had Christmas wrapping paper order forms and was no doubt planning on wrapping her presents in that Martha Stewart way, where kids have to wear ringlets in their hair on Christmas morning, and talk with British accents as they meticulously peel away the wrapping paper from their new Encyclopedia Britannica collections, exclaiming “Bugger me! Muh-ma, these are lovely!”

She was sitting down and my daughter was standing in front of her. So she asked my daughter to sit down because she couldn’t see her daughter , but did it in that sugary sweet way where your kid looks at you and knows this is not a nice person, even if they are talking in a nice tone. I really wanted to say, “Why do you care whether or not you can see your daughter? She sucks!” But since I love Jesus, I didn’t say that, but instead made friendly conversation and asked her how much her ring cost.

The holidays are right around the corner, aren’t they? I’m never sure how people really feel about the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Some people act as though nothing could be better than writing down a list of fourteen thousand things to do, from finding Hallelujah Barbie for their pastor’s daughter to getting “real” cranberries to make dead Grandma’s, used to be famous, cranberry salad. I always love the scroogy people who just lay it out there; “Someone hit me over the head and wake me up on January first.” I think I’m a little more in the middle. I love it and hate it. Love it because of traditions and Christmas music and good presents (iTunes cards please). And hate it because too often kids at Christmas act like the kids you see at Disney World. You know what I’m talking about; kids crying because even though they just got off of Space Mountain and have a pile of cotton candy in their hand, Goofy just walked right by them and didn’t bother to act like an idiot and say “Yuck, Yuck…I’m Goofy,” so their whole frickin’ day is ruined.

Ah well…it’s still Christmas. I’ll try to celebrate in spite of Big Diamond Ring lady. Who knows, maybe she has a bad marriage. Maybe the special powers generated from her big diamond ring are all she has going for her right now. Or maybe she’s just mean. It really doesn’t matter – deep down I want to have the guts to be genuinely good to people like that. Not to become their doormat. But to be good to them because it’s the right thing AND because it changes things for the better. And that’s the point anyway, right?

Many Rivers to Cross

When I was little my mom used to say that when she got to heaven all she wanted to do was sit at Jesus' feet and weep. Though I've always had trouble figuring out what I thought I would do when I got there, I've always thought my mom's picture was beautiful...for her.

My mom has a strong spirit and there are times I feel her spirit in me. I felt it last night.

There is pain in this world; this world...version B, the one we don't see. Does a family of 4 brothers really go into town together, each of them, for AIDS testing? It happens, and though we don't see it happen, God does. What does He think as family members and childhoods are ripped from these children leaving them full of fear, loneliness...?

Ten years ago I would lead worship services each week and do my best to drum up some sort of emotion from those sitting in the pews, looking for Jesus. A part of me has always thought they were looking in the wrong place. Most of me still does. "He's not in all your worship songs with key changes and big endings," I'd like to go back and tell them. I'd like to tell them that he is small. That he resides in the tiny piano ballad written after an excursion to see those dying of a disease in a land that remains curable, if only...

When my mom told me about how she couldn't wait to sit at the feet of Jesus, I always pictured Him in a robe, long hair and a beard, taking in my mother's worship and tears; believing her.

Last night I watched Annie Lennox sing these words:

Many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over

Wandering, I am lost as I travel along

And it's only my will that keeps me alive

I've been licked, washed up for years

And I merely survive

Because of my pride

And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be on your own
Lovers left me
And I don't know the reason why

Well I guess I have to cry

There are many rivers to cross

So many rivers

This was the most beautiful thing I've heard in a long time. And I thought of all those people in all the church services I've led over the years, trying to see Jesus; hoping they'd find Him somewhere in the sanctuary, calling down blessings on them, or sending shivers up their spines. And there I sat in my living room, and I could've swore he was wearing an HIV Postive T-shirt, sitting at a grand piano, wailing the blues of what I've always felt was true; that I've been licked, washed up for years. And that I merely survive because of my pride.

I think when I get to heaven I won't be singing at all. I've always thought I would; hands up, singing my guts out to Jesus. But maybe Jesus will be singing to me. Maybe he'll be sitting at a piano, singing the blues. I wouldn't mind it at all. I'd love to hear him sing and tell me that there are many rivers to cross... but that I've found my way over. And I don't think I'd be surprised if he didn't have a beard at all, but that he looked sort of like Annie Lennox, or at least how she looks when she sings, which to me is absolutely gorgeous, stunning, compassionate, powerful, resolute. All those things I long for in a person, in a Savior. And all the things I need. Especially when there are so many rivers...

May He Rest in Peace

We were at our friend's the other day - and he fell asleep on the floor. I think he looks dead. Comfortable, but dead. God rest his soul.

Spring is here...for now!

I love spring, and here's why...

Need I say more.

End....Scene!

Photo Shop is the bomb! Chloe and I have been rolling.

In on the Action

Evalee wanted to be in on the action too.
(SEE BELOW)

Genes

People are always telling me how much Chloe looks like me. So the other day, as I'm going through these pictures, I saw this one of Chloe and thought, "Dead ringer for me!" It is so weird when that happens. So I did a side by side to show you.

Can you even tell which one is me???

GyyyyyyyyyyymNASTICS!!!

I ALWAYS wanted to be in gymnastics when I was little. And now that I'm older I'm making my kids be in them even if they don't want to. I've heard that it's not supposed to be a good thing to live out your life vicariously through your kids. And though that is mostly true, this is really important to me so I'm going to go ahead with it.

Is she cute or what? The bottom corner pic of her chastising the little girl is probably my favorite. This girl was able to do back handsprings without a spotter. She deserved to be yelled at. What you can't see in that pic is me booing her from the other side of the gym.

I hate show offs.

My Job

Today I sat in my office for 8 and a half hours straight and wrote a song. I love my job. Who gets to do that? Me, that's who. If I had enough time, I'd tell you why I think I get to; but I'll save that for another time. Not that I do this ALL the time; actually, only once in a while - but that I'm able to, and that it's actually my work; pure bliss. Makes me happy.

Oh, and the song is nice I think. Not too brag, but it's pretty much the greatest song of all time.

April Fools & The Wingdings Virus

Well, I LOVE April Fool's Day. I have finally convinced my wife to let me prank, lie, disturb, and distress all in the name of April Fool's Day, with no guilt. Next to Christmas, I don't know of a holier day. My girls have gotten very into it. I woke up to a house that reeked of burnt toast. They brought me a charred black piece of toast covered with jelly (to hide the char). Of course I bit into it thanking them over and over for making me breakfast, and then freaked out for them. I LOVE when they're so excited that they can't stop giggling. Later that morning, as I was trying things out on Heather, she went upstairs saying things like, "I swear I hate this day!" As soon as she said this she opened her bedroom door and a pillow fell on her head. Evalee. And she didn't stop all day.

Before I share my greatest prank of the day, here are my 2 personal favorites from the past.

1. Getting my old pastor to believe that one of our church members was picked up for shop lifting (3rd offense) and used his one phone call to call me so I could come to the courthouse and post bail. He totally bought it. With things like this, you must show confindence in your presentation but also have a touch of sympathy for the senior citizen inmate's wife, saying things like, "What will she do? I feel so sorry for her," and a shred or two of reverent horror. ("I'd never have guessed this of John. He seemed like such a sweet 80 something.")

2. (Plastic Surgery Disclaimer) This one was played on me by one of Heather's and my good friends. She called me at work to tell me that a certain person in her family had fallen down the stairs and popped one of her breast implants. True Story. (I am not advocating or discouraging those who advocate or discourage plastic surgery. I, myself, pluck my eyebrows, and consider this to be a rudimentary form of plastic surgery.) Why did I believe this? Like I said, I'm guillable. I must have forgotten it was April Fool's Day, because this was a serious issue to me and before I got off the phone I was already praying for this girl's..............situation.

Now back to present.

This morning at work I sent an email to our admin asst and in the subject line put "2 things". In the body of the email I typed a bunch of crap using the font "Wingdings." Wingdings is a font that is just a bunch of symbols; completely illegible. Anyway, after she got in to work, I buzzed down to her phone and said, very focused, "Hey Missy, did you get that email - I wanted to make sure you got that taken care of this morning." To which she replied, "I got the email but it's a bunch of symbols. Weird."

"What? Symbols. What could you ever mean. That's weird," I say.

"I know," she says.

So I RE-send the email, and she says it came through that way again, but that none of her other emails are that way. I tell her I'll be right down to check things out. Before I go down to see her, I went to several other workers and had them send some Wingding emails to her too. Then I went down to check things out.

"Hmmm, we better ask Sheri what's going on," I tell her.

So I went and got Sheri (she knows computer crap) and explained everything, telling her to tell Missy that she must have the "Wingding Virus." That was my favorite part honestly. The Wingding Virus; brilliant!

So she explains to Missy that she also caught the Wingding Virus a couple weeks before and had to replace her computer tower; that it's a real bad virus. Missy couldn't believe it, and in the next half hour or so, she must've said the words "Wingding Virus" about thirty times. "I can't believe I got the Wingding Virus! The Wingding Virus is a horrible thing. I wonder where the Wingding Virus came from." Ahhh...it was good fun.

That's it. Hope your day was full of pranks too. I'd love to hear some good ones. Oh by the way, if your computer starts showing crap like this:

This is the Wingding Virus: Beware!!!

Then you've got the Wingding Virus too. Bummer.