Friday, November 14, 2008

Jesus


We have a bookstore at our church. It's not a far cry from what you'd see in a Family Christian Store. In fact, it's exactly like that - only I know the people who work at our bookstore and they serve up great coffee.

I have come to understand how bookstores get all their stuff. Merchants come in with stuff they'd like to sell in the bookstore (t-shirts, mints, greeting cards, coffee cups, scripture pictures) and they show their merchandise to the manager. Together, the merchants and manager decide what is worthy enough to make it on the shelves; what will sell; what will make a difference.

Well, about two months ago, I walked into the bookstore at my church and the girl behind the counter yelled out to me, "Jesus is here!" I thought she meant me at first. She didn't. Then she continued as bold as she'd started. "Did you see Jesus?"

"What are you talking about?" I grunted. Obviously, I didn't believe her. And because I hadn't had my coffee yet, I didn't care.

"He's right over there," she says, pointing over my shoulder.

I turned around and saw a couple of men in business suits talking to another man who helps with the inventory at our bookstore. They were dressed to the nines and looked to be the kind of gentlemen who used Brylcreem on their hair. Both of them had their hair piled high on their heads; hair that only an old barber's comb could've piled that high.

There was a counter and four feet separating me and the business men. And since they'd heard Kim's very loud, "Jesus is here!" announcement, they were looking in my direction. I felt strange; like since I was a Christian I should be interested in finding out where Jesus was, or what Kim was talking about, so I instinctively headed toward them. One of the men smiled and held up a Jesus doll that was robed, bearded and sandaled.

"Creepy," I said. It was one of those moments where the words tumble out before you have a chance to take an oral inventory. At the time, I didn't realize they were merchants, and I guess I assumed that anyone who had seen this doll...like ANYONE...would've felt the same as me; which was, "Gross! Where did that thing come from?"

So after I had said, "creepy," the guy holding it immediately said, "He speaks in 3 different languages; Greek, Aramaic, and English," and smiled very nicely my way. This is when I realized they were serious.

I must tell you, and if you know me well, you know this is true; I'm hardly ever mean to people's faces. I usually wait until they are quite a distance away before I disparage them. I have great restraint when I'm feeling irritated by something as irritating as the Savior of the entire world being turned into a rubber doll that is no doubt, expensive, and that will be used to decorate someone's house somewhere...and perhaps used as a tool to "witness" to those who need to make Barbie Jesus their personal Lord and Savior.

But like I said, I hadn't had my coffee yet, so all of my polish and pizzazz was dormant at this point. "Oh," I said. "Hmmm," I managed; the corners of my mouth drawn downward, head slightly cocked and nodding. My outside did not match my inside. My outside was diplomatic and controlled. My inside was feeling the same as I had felt the first time I saw "A Clockwork Orange" by Stanley Kubrick. I was....speechless. And unfortunately, with my "creepy" comment, which was not able to be recanted, I had brought the already somewhat tense atmosphere to a new level.

I walked away thinking, "Please God, please let the powers that be say "No" to Barbie Jesus going on sale in our bookstore. I had already pictured twenty percent off tags on him, and it made me uncomfortable. I did not want him in our store." Two months later, still no sign of him. So far, so good.

Though I definitely stand in judgment of anyone who would buy Barbie Jesus and find a special place to hang him up in their homes, I wonder if it's possible that I've somehow done the same thing. I mean, I realize I'm not wearing WWJD bracelets anymore, since all they did to make me more like Jesus was nothing. And no, I'm not one who is real into religious bumper stickers or t-shirts. But I know that I've still got some of the residue on me; the spiritual residue from the early days of my Christian life when I was saying things like, "Praise Jesus," when all I really meant was "Thank you." Or "Hallelujah," which only meant, "I'm glad that worked out for you." The truth is, I don't want Barbie Jesus on my shelf or in my heart. He's rubber. He's not tested one bit and he's suffered about as much as any American Girl doll has. And that's not enough for me. I don't want a doll. I don't want something plastic and pretty. I want the real thing. I don't want a reminder sitting on my shelf that speaks in 3 languages...languages that most of the world has never even heard before.

If Jesus is real, and I happen to think He is, the Barbie Jesus doll will not do one thing for me other than have me thinking Jesus is a toy. Well, He's not. He's not a toy. He's a Jewish man who died on a cross for His community. For me. To emblazon His image in rubber and tiny robes doesn't work for me. And neither does putting a fish on my car, or a cross on my neck. It's not a bad thing per se, but it's not Jesus either. It's costume jewelry. It's costume faith. It looks like faith and beliefs, but it's not. It's replication. And replication is not real. Replication is imitation.

Imagine if people didn't have bibles to carry around. Imagine if they didn't have Christian music to listen to. Imagine if they didn't have Christian pamphlets to pass out, or bumper stickers to stick on their cars, or crosses to wear, or t-shirts to speak for them. What if people couldn't blab on and on about their faith in Jesus? What if they couldn't buy up Billy Graham videos to pass out to their friends? What would happen? Would they be scared? Think about it. No Christian paraphernalia. No Christian bookstores. No Christian schools, cards, or movies. No Christian churches. What would happen? What would we do? How then would we be able to get our point across?

OUR point?

What if we couldn't speak of Jesus? What if we couldn't tell people what He had done for us? What would we do?

We'd have to do something. But what?

Maybe we'd have to...live Jesus. Maybe we'd have to breathe...Jesus. Maybe we'd have to...be Jesus. And maybe Jesus would have to love people. Maybe WE would have to love people. Maybe Jesus would have to save the world. Maybe we would have to save the world. Maybe Jesus would have to live from a redeemed place. Maybe we would have to live from a redeemed place. Maybe Jesus would have to show up. Maybe we would have to show up. Maybe Jesus would have to change lives. Maybe we would have to change lives. Maybe Jesus would have to turn the world upside down to get His point across. Maybe we would have to turn the world upside down to get His point across.

HIS point.

Jesus would have to be alive. We would have to be alive. Jesus would have to live what He believed. And so would we. Because the trappings would be gone. The props would no longer be accessible. We would have to really believe all that we said we believed. We would have to live without all the Christian bells and whistles. Without those things that "identified" me as a Christ follower. I'd have nothing to mark me as a Jesus person; nothing other than the love in my heart that drove me to accept people as they are. Nothing other than the sweat on my brow, that got there from helping my neighbor who was recovering from surgery. Nothing other than the use of my hands, that defended the poor and helpless.

I'd have nothing but love. I'd have nothing.

Nothing...but Jesus.

16 comments:

Desire of Great Love said...

wow... love this. this reminds me of your rare but totally mind-blowing sermons you would do at NCC forever ago.
Creepy is a total understatement, and I wouldn't have been as nice and asked if they were serious.
A Jesus Doll. yeah.. um, okay? I don't really get the "why". I mean, the Kevin Smith movie, "Dogma" is one of my favorite movies ever, but there was a specific point the movie was trying to make when the catholic church introduced the "Jesus Buddy" to be more cool and relate to the younger, "hip" crowd. Isn't this kind of the same thing? Bleck... what a scary thing I never want to expose my kids to ever. It's so superficial. Even I believe god/jesus isn't a toy to be played with.
I have to totally agree with you on the whole
"x-tian" paraphernalia... and yeah- I'm making a point with replacing "Christ" with an "x" on purpose, because it's all a sales technique, and anything to do w/ god is totally removed and has never even been a part of it whatsoever. I saw we need to have a burning and burn it all to hell, and see if we can TRULY live w/out it and still let god love on others through us. I believe we're born w/ what God wants us to use to let love in and pour it onto others- we don't need the superficiality. We need super-reality. That's what speaks first to people anyway. I don't think they'd do anything w/ a rubber "jesus" doll except make fun, twist & contort it, eventually destroy it and trash it, which is pretty much what I'd do too to be honest. Who is seriously going to respect a doll? Seriously?
Anyway... again, this is amazing. I feel fed- thank you!!!
"Off with it's head!!!"

pwdrd donuts said...

"Off with it's head!" Okay, that got a big loud laugh out of me!

Jen said...

I'm sure this next comment is going to be totally sac-religious but here goes. We're family, right?

I'm just wondering what kind of accessories are sold with it... Carpentry tools? Crown of thorns? Wooden cross?

"Disciples sold separately. Heavenly hosts not included."

pwdrd donuts said...

Yes we're family. I was thinking about a dead Lazarus somewhere in the mix. Just add water and he comes back to life!

Krista said...

loved this post matt. really. especially the 'praise Jesus' and 'hallelujah'.....because somewhere inside me when i'm talking to ppl and they say things like that....i'm kinda like....wtf?

sidenote: i don't know if you like rob bell or not, but my favorite podcast of his is titled 'we already are' which is basically your post.

pwdrd donuts said...

I do like Rob Bell...love him. I haven't heard that podcast. I will surely look it up.

Beth said...

Matt I love this first the barbie Jesus was cracking me up and then thinking about what we would say about it and the people that made it later was cracking me up even more then....I read on and made John read and know why you are such a good writer! I can't wait to read your book.......when is it coming? Thanks for reminding me why I love Jesus!

pwdrd donuts said...

Thanks Beth - that means alot. I swear, I actually thought of you when I wrote..."if you know me well, you know this is true; I'm hardly ever mean to people's faces."

Our Family said...

hmmmm.....reading this on sunday morning before going to church...after not going for 2 years.

thinking the last church gave our kids a David doll(that quoted scripture). i wish i was kidding. although they now know..'even thouth i walk through the valley of the shadow of death....'. that poor doll has suffered in this family and i'm sure barbie jesus would be no exception.

Anonymous said...

Great post. Couldn't have said it better myself.

The Liller Family said...

Okay so I started reading this post the other night and couldn't keep from howling with laughter - now I re-read the whole post in its entirety and am completely blown away! Just another reason why we love you and your honesty and ability to be real. Your book ROCKS and I can't wait to read it all - better order a few million, it's gonna hit the NYT Best Seller list!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad to see this. Lauren and I saw these Jesus dolls (and there were more dolls in the set than just Jesus - Mary, Noah, Moses to name a couple) at Target several months ago and thought it was VERY weird - it really made me kind of mad to think that someone would even do this - for the same reasons you cited - it seems so fake and cheesy - which are two words that don't describe the Jesus I serve and worship. Thanks for going public - sure makes me feel better about my first reaction.

the laundress said...

just drove back from the south through cinci...past the "butter Jesus"...and my 16 year old said the same thing about that.....

actually her words were "wtf...why would a church spend money on that creepy shit?" and then "that wouldnt make me want to go in there and find out more about the guy in butter in the pond out front" This all sequed into great conversation about spending money on crap that is all about showing ppl or telling ppl, but if you need a "thing" to tell or show ppl that you love Jesus...than you got some big Jesus issues!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you have not seen Him in the store because its like a Wii! They are so popular that you can't get them. Hopefully people won't be fighting for them like they did cabbage patch kids at toys r us!

pwdrd donuts said...

Imagining people in a tug-o'-war over jesus. "He's mine... No he's mine, get your OWN!!!" Scary.

Anonymous said...

Matt,

I have seen this doll thing and many variants of it made fun of all over the non-Christian web. There's one where Jesus is helping you golf, do martial arts, etc.

http://www.catholicsupply.com/CHRISTMAS/othersports.html

If people would just quit buying this junk and give that money to the poor, imagine how the world could change.

The worst I've seen, however, is all the junk that comes along with a Max Lucado book. You know, the coffee mug, keychain, paperweight, photo holder, figurine, etc. etc. etc. This really hit me when his book, He Chose the Nails came out. I like Max Lucado books, but the merchandising is about as un-Christ-like as I can imagine.