Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Handless Organist

That's right. I saw a link on Heather's Facebook about terrible album covers. Well, it was a privilege and honor to pore over these carefully selected terrible album covers. I'm sure many were in the running. There were probably 10 in all. But I had my favorites...

Like this one... Ooh la la!

Jim loves his life. I love his mustache.

Or how about this one...

Joining the ranks of those one name famed singers (Madonna, Coolio, Yanni) I give you "Joyce!"

Joyce? How about "Just Joyce?" Cuz I feel like something is missing with the name. But not with Joyce. Joyce is missing absolutely NOTHING! I mean c'mon... the rose, the dress...the Tootsie glasses and "set" hair. It's straight fire for Joyce. These are the albums that put "digitally remasterd" on the map.

And finally... my personal favorite (winning by a nub):

I'm amused... I'm a little uneasy... I'm leaning in for a closer look. I kinda want to invite her to play at my church. But our organ only has one row of keys which I fear wouldn't adequately showcase the range of what the handless organist is capable of.

As I study this photo I wonder what song she is playing. It must be something from the Romantic period...(I'm sensing dense, weightier textures happening in her left...ummm... arm.)

One question... seriously... is it me, or does her right hand(less) look a little bit like a dental drill?

That's it for me this year. Merry Christmas and HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2010!!!

10 comments:

Desire of Great Love said...

oh...my...gaw......!!!!!!
(in pure Jessica Simpson fashion of course!)

I still can't pick my jaw off the floor from that last one.

At first, I felt a bit sick, and then my mind went INSTANTLY to Kristen Wiig's baby hand character on the SNL parody of the Lawrence Welk show.

http://img.snlarc.jt.org/caps/episode_sketches/2008-10-04-3.jpg

Yeah... I'm horrible, but what's even worse is wondering how may people looked down on her and said/whispered/thought "She needs to ask for forgiveness so Jesus can heal her" or "Her parents must sinned something horrible for her to turn out that way?" or even "She needs the devil slapped outta her & she'll be healed!" you all know they did!

Happy Christmas & Merry Holidays!

Derek said...

Matt-
Those are great picks! Of course I love the organist... God bless her! But my favorite has to be JOYCE! I can't believe someone could actually purchase that album for $.50. I remember when I purchased my 1st JOYCE album and I didn't pay no fidy cent. She has great hits like "Outdated Material Girl", "Like a virgin... I mean really like one" and "Borderline Cultish"! She's the best!

pjhdx said...

Now come on, Matt...if you were a little older you might remember when Joyce's permed hair, big glasses, and rainbow striped dress were really, really fashionable. Ok...at least tolerable. That must've been the '80's (at least I HOPE so), and you know she was downright proud of that album cover. I'm sure Jim (see #1) thought she was pretty hot...had the cover thumbtacked to his wall...why he had to take showers.

That last one just leaves me speechless. There are no words.

Matt said...

hey matt. its matt. the other one. it is not you typing. don't worry. you are in control of your mind. just wanted to say merry christmas. you should come visit the desert some time. we'd give you a place to stay. we could go hiking. we could let the kiddos swim. we could have deep, deep conversations about vanilla. you know, it could be nice. if not, i'll be in indiana in june. we can hang out then and shuck corn. so...until then, enjoy your family.
in the shadow of the cross and manger, becoming holy and loving people more than you,
matt - the other one.

pen in hand, heart on sleeve said...

I had actually forgotten how much you make me laugh! I miss you. So glad you and Heather are doing so well. I hope you are having an awesome "holiday season" with your beautiful family! Thanks for the laugh!!

Unknown said...

Thought of you the other day. We went to a party at the Governor's Mansion. They had a band and half-way through the night one of the band members whipped out an accordian. Happy playing!

Derek said...

WHERE ARE YOU MATT BAYS?

smallTown said...

Hi

I stumbled onto your blog (in a very roundabout way) a couple of days ago.

Just wanted to say I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts.

Why haven't you posted since Christmas?

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