Here's what I wonder....
Why do we write things like "Reaching for His glory," as sign offs to our emails? WHY MUST WE SIGN OFF WITH "Being a blessing," Seriously... it's seems to me that it's just one more way of christians separating themselves from everyone else in the world. And when I say separating, I mean, thinking we are better than others... that we've found the magic solution to life and are aiming to make that perfectly clear when we sign off on an email.
...maybe if they read my sign off at the bottom of my email, we think to ourselves, maybe they just might start loving Jesus. Don't hold your breath.
Whatever happened to "Sincerely,"? And I personally think that the ole standbye "Thanks" is getting the short end of the stick these days. Sure, it may not have the beating of angels wings in the background, but I think it's every bit as potent as "Covered in the blood of the Lamb," and just might have a touch less of a "I'm better friends with God than you are" ring to it.
I just had lunch with a friend today and we were talking about how it's a temptation for christians to insulate themselves from the rest of the world. Christian schools, christian friends, christian, christian, christian. He said, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just vanilla. And I don't want to be just vanilla." I thought about that, and about how there are christians out there (I've NEVER done this) who turn their nose up at a joke that's in poor taste. Or if someones swears they roll their eyes and claim God's holiness as their sword and shield.
And fine whatever, it's your prerogative. But it's a problem when you're not that way all the time; when you can't live up to your end of the holy bargain. You're one way at church and another way at other places. You're all "God bless you" when you sneeze at Chick-Fil-a, but are all nervously excited when watching Saw VI. It doesn't add up. It just doesn't.
Ass is a bad word, right? Whatever. We feel better about not saying "ass" than we do about not watching Saw VI. Let's be clear... Saw VI is about murdering people for fun and calling it entertainment. "Ass" is slang... not the nicest of words, but not murder for entertainment either.
I'm not judging you for either of these. I'm not gonna judge you if you watch Saw VI OR if you say "ass." Know why? First of all, cause I just don't care. Secondly, because there's enough going on in me to keep me busy...I don't have time to judge your crap. (But if you sign off your email with "An ass-less vocabulary," and think someone might stop saying bad words because of it, I'm probably going to make time to judge you.)
I don't like to brag so I'll try not to here (though I'm warning you, this may sound like I think I've got my crap together.) But I'm pretty much the same person at home that I am everywhere else. Like I know I'm broken. It's why I go to 12-step meetings every week. It's why I've spent hours in counseling. But I know a lot of people who are trying to be holy... trying not to cuss... trying to send the kiddies to schools where Jesus teachers are going to help them stay on the straight and narrow. (not that there's anything wrong with that.... but keep in mind (unfortunately) that the divorce rate, suicide rate, pre-marital sex rate is pretty much the same for kids who attend christian schools and their families, as it is for those who don't attend christian schools and their families - but I'm on a tangent. I do this. I'm making a larger point here... I'm getting back on track now.) So I'd say I'm 80-90% the same at Chick Fil-a and at church and at movies and at home. But I didn't used to be.
My friend said, "I don't want to be just vanilla." And here's the thing... most people aren't vanilla. Most christians who are "holy" and do all the right things (I'm not talking about christian schools again I promise) and don't cuss, play poker, smoke, drink, dance, or let their kids get their ears pierced before they're ten years old, are not vanilla either. They might be vanilla to all their friends. They might be vanilla at church. They might be vanilla at their jobs. And all their friends might say, "Man, he is really vanilla...how does he do it?" Or their co-workers might think, "I've never heard a bad word come outta that guy's mouth, what a great big fat scoop of vanilla." But here's the thing. I swear, they're NOT vanilla. They look like vanilla, they may even smell like vanilla, but when you open them up.... guess what? Butterscotch Ripple. Because vanilla doesn't go porn surfing... know what I'm saying?
People who are trying to be vanilla are usually up in their head all alone freaking out because their personal lives are in shambles. They don't tell their friends about what's really going on in their head because they think it might make God look bad... and I get this, seriously I do - no one wants to give God a bad name... or make it seem like He doesn't work or something. So they go on with all that stuff locked away... stuff that, when locked up and hidden, has a way of morphing itself into a time bomb that WILL detonate... just give it time.
Pretending to be vanilla (when behind closed doors, and in our heads, and in the secret corners of our hearts we are covered in fudge, nuts, sprinkles and twirled with carmel) is a DEAD END! And sooner or later the facade is going to break down our marriage, our relationships, and everything in our lives that IS holy. We'll do things we thought we'd never do, and hurt people we never thought we'd hurt (including ourselves).
Vanilla is tasteless and boring... and a lie. I'm done pretending. I did it too long and it didn't make me anything but unapproachable, lonely, and a fraud.
I do realize that someone might read this and think, "Then what do I do? I don't know WHAT to do? How do I be authentic... the same everywhere, at all times and not sign off my emails with 'Until the trumpet sounds'"? Well, come talk to me. Seriously. There are ways out. It's not easy, but ya know, neither is living the big fat lie. Getting real is about getting to the truth of WHO YOU ARE. And I'm pretty sure God says that it's the truth sets people free.
Thanks,
Matt
Why do we write things like "Reaching for His glory," as sign offs to our emails? WHY MUST WE SIGN OFF WITH "Being a blessing," Seriously... it's seems to me that it's just one more way of christians separating themselves from everyone else in the world. And when I say separating, I mean, thinking we are better than others... that we've found the magic solution to life and are aiming to make that perfectly clear when we sign off on an email.
...maybe if they read my sign off at the bottom of my email, we think to ourselves, maybe they just might start loving Jesus. Don't hold your breath.
Whatever happened to "Sincerely,"? And I personally think that the ole standbye "Thanks" is getting the short end of the stick these days. Sure, it may not have the beating of angels wings in the background, but I think it's every bit as potent as "Covered in the blood of the Lamb," and just might have a touch less of a "I'm better friends with God than you are" ring to it.
I just had lunch with a friend today and we were talking about how it's a temptation for christians to insulate themselves from the rest of the world. Christian schools, christian friends, christian, christian, christian. He said, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just vanilla. And I don't want to be just vanilla." I thought about that, and about how there are christians out there (I've NEVER done this) who turn their nose up at a joke that's in poor taste. Or if someones swears they roll their eyes and claim God's holiness as their sword and shield.
And fine whatever, it's your prerogative. But it's a problem when you're not that way all the time; when you can't live up to your end of the holy bargain. You're one way at church and another way at other places. You're all "God bless you" when you sneeze at Chick-Fil-a, but are all nervously excited when watching Saw VI. It doesn't add up. It just doesn't.
Ass is a bad word, right? Whatever. We feel better about not saying "ass" than we do about not watching Saw VI. Let's be clear... Saw VI is about murdering people for fun and calling it entertainment. "Ass" is slang... not the nicest of words, but not murder for entertainment either.
I'm not judging you for either of these. I'm not gonna judge you if you watch Saw VI OR if you say "ass." Know why? First of all, cause I just don't care. Secondly, because there's enough going on in me to keep me busy...I don't have time to judge your crap. (But if you sign off your email with "An ass-less vocabulary," and think someone might stop saying bad words because of it, I'm probably going to make time to judge you.)
I don't like to brag so I'll try not to here (though I'm warning you, this may sound like I think I've got my crap together.) But I'm pretty much the same person at home that I am everywhere else. Like I know I'm broken. It's why I go to 12-step meetings every week. It's why I've spent hours in counseling. But I know a lot of people who are trying to be holy... trying not to cuss... trying to send the kiddies to schools where Jesus teachers are going to help them stay on the straight and narrow. (not that there's anything wrong with that.... but keep in mind (unfortunately) that the divorce rate, suicide rate, pre-marital sex rate is pretty much the same for kids who attend christian schools and their families, as it is for those who don't attend christian schools and their families - but I'm on a tangent. I do this. I'm making a larger point here... I'm getting back on track now.) So I'd say I'm 80-90% the same at Chick Fil-a and at church and at movies and at home. But I didn't used to be.
My friend said, "I don't want to be just vanilla." And here's the thing... most people aren't vanilla. Most christians who are "holy" and do all the right things (I'm not talking about christian schools again I promise) and don't cuss, play poker, smoke, drink, dance, or let their kids get their ears pierced before they're ten years old, are not vanilla either. They might be vanilla to all their friends. They might be vanilla at church. They might be vanilla at their jobs. And all their friends might say, "Man, he is really vanilla...how does he do it?" Or their co-workers might think, "I've never heard a bad word come outta that guy's mouth, what a great big fat scoop of vanilla." But here's the thing. I swear, they're NOT vanilla. They look like vanilla, they may even smell like vanilla, but when you open them up.... guess what? Butterscotch Ripple. Because vanilla doesn't go porn surfing... know what I'm saying?
People who are trying to be vanilla are usually up in their head all alone freaking out because their personal lives are in shambles. They don't tell their friends about what's really going on in their head because they think it might make God look bad... and I get this, seriously I do - no one wants to give God a bad name... or make it seem like He doesn't work or something. So they go on with all that stuff locked away... stuff that, when locked up and hidden, has a way of morphing itself into a time bomb that WILL detonate... just give it time.
Pretending to be vanilla (when behind closed doors, and in our heads, and in the secret corners of our hearts we are covered in fudge, nuts, sprinkles and twirled with carmel) is a DEAD END! And sooner or later the facade is going to break down our marriage, our relationships, and everything in our lives that IS holy. We'll do things we thought we'd never do, and hurt people we never thought we'd hurt (including ourselves).
Vanilla is tasteless and boring... and a lie. I'm done pretending. I did it too long and it didn't make me anything but unapproachable, lonely, and a fraud.
I do realize that someone might read this and think, "Then what do I do? I don't know WHAT to do? How do I be authentic... the same everywhere, at all times and not sign off my emails with 'Until the trumpet sounds'"? Well, come talk to me. Seriously. There are ways out. It's not easy, but ya know, neither is living the big fat lie. Getting real is about getting to the truth of WHO YOU ARE. And I'm pretty sure God says that it's the truth sets people free.
Thanks,
Matt
